


My Blog Is Better Than Your Blog

by orphan_account



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Teenagers, Bilbo curses the most out of everyone, Dori is a little shit, Fili is extremely blunt when sexually active, M/M, Multi, Potty mouth Bilbo, Sassy Bilbo, not much happens, sorry about that, they're all a bunch of fucking losers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-10
Updated: 2015-06-19
Packaged: 2018-03-29 21:14:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3910924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some losers hang out and talk shit about each other's blogs or something. Idk I'm tired please read it</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TooSel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TooSel/gifts).



> To my lovely source of inspiration~

  "For the love of god, Thorin. Reblog different things! I don't want to see your sad shit on my dashboard! " 

  

  Thorin glared from his spot on the couch at Bilbo, who sat across from him. 

 

  "Um, it's called blacklisting. Look it up. And last time I checked, it was my blog. So I'll reblog whatever the fuck I want."

 

  "It's depressing looking at that shit! School is going to end in a few weeks and I wanna stay in good spirits. That's why my blog has nothing but happiness and positively."

 

  "And bullshit… " Thorin pressed on as Bilbo reached for the nearest pillow." Oh come on! All you reblog is pictures of food from hashtag food porn and plants! Who cares about a fucking tree, Bilbo!? No one!"

 

  "Say that to the thousands of people who liked and reblogged the same pictures of trees, you fuck!" Bilbo threw his pillow at Thorin and grinned as it hit him square in the face. 

 

  "Oh, and another thing. Stop tagging me on every single picture of a garden gnome you see. It's not funny! I'm not that short! " Bilbo added. 

 

  "Fine. Then stop tagging me on every single picture of a dick you find." Thorin countered. 

 

  "But you like dick." Bilbo's voice was sweet, though the smirk on his face said otherwise. 

 

  Thorin snorted. 

 

  "Yeah so do you, but you don't see me tagging you on every picture of a chode. " 

 

  "True… " Bilbo trailed off. " So will you try to switch things up on your blog?"

 

  "I'll try." Thorin sighed. 

 

  "Thank you~ "

 

  There was a moment to silence. 

 

  "What the hell just happened between you two?" Dwalin suddenly interrupted. "Is this a normal occurrence? "

 

  He looked up at the two from his place on the floor. He propped himself up on his elbows as he waited for a response. Only Bilbo looked at him, Thorin's attention only focused on his laptop. 

 

  Bilbo stared at Dwalin for awhile. Dwalin stared back. Finally, Bilbo replied in a low voice:

 

  "Shut up, Dwalin. You fucking twat."

 

  Thorin erupted into soft laughter. 

 

   "Dang, Bilbo. So brutal..."

 

  "Life is brutal." Bilbo smiled. 

 

  Dwalin frowned at Bilbo.

 

  "Why do you always curse at me?"

 

  "I curse at everyone, Dwalin. Don't worry about it. You're fine."

 

  "Yeah, but why do you curse so much?" Thorin asked.

 

  Bilbo shrugged. 

 

  "I picked it up from my aunt, I think."

 

  "Lobelia?"

 

  Bilbo nodded.

 

  Silence filled the room again.

 

  "Lobelia Sackville-Baggins can go suck a dick." Thorin mumbled.

 

  "The biggest, nastiest dick." Dwalin added.

 

  Bilbo laughed at that.

 

  "You guys are the best~"


	2. Nori's Blog Gets a Makeover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nori's phone goes missing.

  "Hey have you seen my phone anywhere?"

 

  Dori glanced at Nori for a split second before going back to stirring the soup in the pot.

 

  "No, I haven't seen it. Ask Ori. He might know."

 

  Nori groaned loudly and marched up the stairs towards his younger brother's room. Without knocking, he barged into the room.

 

  "Ori, where the fuck is my-" Nori stopped dead in his tracks.

 

  The three bodies on the bed scurried and scrambled to throw clothes back on. The ginger one hid his body underneath the blankets while glaring at Nori. The blond one had already managed to get his pants on, but made no move to put his shirt on. The brunet one…was hiding behind the blond one out of Nori's view. Nori turned towards the blond and brunet.

 

  "S'up, Fili…and Kili?" He nodded.

 

  Fili nodded back in a cool manner, "Nothing much. I was kinda in the middle of trying to fuck your brother, but whatever." 

 

  Nori hummed and nodded, maintaining his gaze at Fili. Fili stared back with just as much fierceness. A silent moment passed before Nori broke into a grin.

 

  "You're alright, Durin." Fili grinned back in response. Nori turned to Ori, "Have you seen my phone lately?"

 

  "I saw Dori with it earlier now will you please leave?" Ori rushed out, blush darkening on his cheeks.

 

  "Oh alright, I'll go. Don't forget to use protection~" Nori was out the door before Ori was able to respond. Once he was gone, Ori and Fili looked towards Kili.

 

  "Wow, Kili. That's the first time I've ever heard you be quiet." Ori smirked.

 

  "S-shut up!" Kili stammered.

 

  "Aw look, he's blushing!" Fili laughed.

 

  Kili groaned. 

 

 

 

 

When Nori got back to the kitchen, he saw Dori propped up against the counter typing away on his phone. He quickly snatched his phone away from his brother's hands. Dori grinned at him.

 

  "Don't play these fucking games with me, Dori. We may be brothers, but I'll slap a bitch if I have to." 

 

Dori laughed as he stormed away shouting, " You're getting too old to be doing this shit!"

 

 

 

 

Nori reactivated his phone to see what Dori had done. He was met with his tumblr account completely changed. Floral. Floral everything. Floral everywhere. Every body of text was brightly colored and glittery. Nori already felt a headache coming just from staring at his dashboard. 

 

  "That son of a bitch…"

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey long time no see, guys. Sorry I haven't posted in weeks! I wanted to wait for school to get out before posting anything. Then I got lazy and kept eating cheese fries instead of writing, but I'm back! So look forward to more content!♡


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